Prayer and Temperament

This week has reminded me of  Ecclesiastes 3:8.  There has been a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.  Many of us are still processing the resignation of our Holy Father Pope Benedict the XVI... and with Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday, Valentine's day and the first Friday of Lent happening in rapid succession...well, our minds and hearts have been on a bit of a roller coaster.

Even though I'm still a bit dizzy, I'm relieved to be entering Lent this year as a desperately welcomed chance to go into the desert to find Jesus and be still and listen.  To prepare for that,  I recently embarked on my first official appointment for spiritual direction. My spiritual director suggested that I should begin by identifying my prayer temperament (I had not heard of this before). She loaned me her well-loved copy of a book aptly titled "Prayer and Temperament" and I have been feasting on it ever since. I thought I'd share a little about it for those who might benefit, too.

The science behind "Prayer and Temperament" began with the Myers-Briggs Test Indicator in about 1974, which I've only ever understood in the context of Psychology alone. About 30 years ago, the author of the book Msgr. Chester Michael, worked on a study called the "Prayer Project" where he sought to find the connection between psychology and spirituality. Since then he has established an Institute for Spiritual Direction and his findings have been applied in thousands of retreats and workshops. If you would like to try this out, here is the MBTI online to help identify your personality type.

Of course, each of us are uniquely made, and no one person will fit into a box of human design. This is obviously not an exact science, but it can provide a good idea of where your strengths lie in your approach to prayer.

Msgr. Michael groups the main prayer temperaments within Benedictine prayer, Ignatian prayer, Augustinian prayer, Franciscan prayer, Thomistic prayer, but others are mentioned in the book such as Trinitarian prayer, Marian devotion and Teresian spirituality.  Once you take the MBTI, you can look here to determine which style you may fall under, and learn more about which forms your temperament may prefer. For cradle Catholics like myself who have not absorbed the beautiful knowledge and wisdom that so many others have strived to attain :) my advice would be to do a little reading and stretch your spirituality this Lent.  Allow yourself to experience a style of prayer that you have not tried before, just get your feet wet and see where God leads you. Reach out to your parish priest if you would like some guidance in getting started, and visit your parish library for great resources for your journey. Don't be intimidated!

Some prefer scripted prayers, some prefer contemplation and meditation.  Some enjoy spontaneous prayer and the holiness of daily work. Some marvel at nature. Some delight in music as prayer. Some enjoy reading, some enjoy writing, some are called to be speakers and leaders in ministry .  Our Creator has made us all to be different, but all of us come together in Mass as one family, one body in Christ, as servants to further His kingdom on earth.  Relish in how God made you, and offer your best to Him in prayer, almsgiving and service this Lent. May we all be blessed with a memorable and meaningful Lenten season!

                          


How do you love to pray?

Perfectly Imperfect

                                 

Pinterest is a dream come true for the aspiring perfectionist. If you have not encountered pinterest yet, it is a virtual and endless pin board where people can post and save photos of projects and ideas. (Be prepared to stay up until 4 am creating your pin boards, by the way). I was browsing the other day looking for homemade gift ideas, and found myself gleefully in the midst of tips for creating the perfect indoor garden and how to tie my scarf into an artfully fool-proof knot. Life is so beautiful on pinterest, picture-perfectly within our reach. I started to click on “how to make a pine cone garland” and was distracted by a pin which simply stated “I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.” I’m not sure if the author of this quote intended this to have a religious interpretation, but I received the message in the light of faith.

Over the past few days, I have been thinking about how deeply this simple message applies to every area of my life. As we approach the Advent season, there is so much pressure to have everything tied up nicely with a bow, and on time. But not from our Savior. He does not ask us to be perfect in order to be worthy of His love. In fact, the bible even reminds us that we should delight in our imperfections because they point to our need for a Savior.

If it’s not pinterest, then it’s the parenting article that makes us wonder if we’re loving our children enough. Or the well-meaning friend who tells us about the amazing way they organize family photos that makes us feel like crying. Maybe it’s the family member who reminds us that we’re never going to lose weight if we eat two slices of pie instead of one. If we look for it, the message of “I just can’t be perfect” is everywhere.

But there is a message of love and acceptance that is also everywhere, if we choose to look for it. So simple that is is overlooked so often. Just the way a precious baby might go unnoticed, sleeping sweetly in a manger. We are loved as we are, just as we have been created. Our Savior does not ask us to be prove ourselves worthy to be loved. The world does.

I must clarify that I happen to be pinterest’s number one fan. I have always been a creative person inspired by the creativity of others, but I lack organizational skills which pinterest makes possible. I think pinterest is a wonderful tool and resource. But just like other forms of technology in our society today, I think it can leave people with the feeling of just not being able to do enough, or be enough. But let us be Christians who try to hold ourselves to a standard of grace and not perfection in the days leading up to Christmas. Let us let the world see the peace inside of us which Jesus gives to us, and the gift of love He wishes us to share with the world. Let us be patient with ourselves in moments of imperfection, and strive for the humility that reminds us that needing God makes us not weak, but strong.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell within me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. “ ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

White flag day

The other night, my husband took the boys to karate and I stayed home with our toddler to get a head start on dinner so it would be hot and ready when they returned. This is our normal procedure and works beautifully normally.

Realizing that hot dogs were on the menu by special request and our toddler was occupied, I thought I'd try to send out some writing samples while the house was relatively quiet.

We all know how difficult it is to maintain a train of thought and form a complete sentence with children around, so I'm not exactly sure why I thought this was a good idea. But I stubbornly persisted. Several times I stood up to rescue our 22 month old from rifling through cupboards and standing precariously on stools, and then I would sit back down to piece together my thoughts.

When I heard the sound of water pouring, I tuned it out. When I connected that it would have to be the science experiment our eldest son had left out, I jumped up to take care of it and returned to resuscitate my fledgling paragraph. 

Shortly after that was when the miniature fall gourds started to be thrown at me from some undisclosed location. Stubbornly, I persisted. But the breaking point was inevitable. I calmly sat our toddler down with some books in his room, finished my paragraph, picked up the placemats from the table that he had scattered on the floor, and broke down in to tears.

I proceeded into my litany of mumbling self pity/prayer...."why.....why....whhhyyyy!!! I never ask for anything for myself. All I want to do is write a few paragraphs that might help someone else! Why is it so hard? " and I allowed myself to come completely unglued, a luxury I rarely afford myself.

And softly as always, God's patient wisdom answered me in silence. The way only He can hold a mirror to my face so that I can reveal the answer to my own questions. "Yes," He said. "Why, why, why. So that you would come to Me. You can not do this on your own."  I knew this to be true, and my sniveling was quieted. Only You can bless and multiply my efforts, my sweet Lord. Please forgive me for my foolishness and pride. I know I can do nothing good without You.

I surrender to Your perfect wisdom.


(But did it have to be gourds?)

What happens to a dream deferred?

Writing has been a dream of mine since I first graffitied the walls of my sister's bedroom with a green crayon. In any group of which I've been a part, any position I've held, any event I've organized....I have gravitated to the aspect of that role which allows me to write. If I could rewind time, I'd ignore every person who told me I'd never make any money and instead focus on those people who told me it was most important to do what you love. 

A few years ago, I pressed pause on a promising Master's degree in Counseling and took an interview to write features for a local publication. After writing for three years, I still stumble over the admission that I am a writer. At first I thought I'd only feel comfortable admitting it once I was published.  Then I thought I'd only feel comfortable once I was paid. As it turns out, I'd probably feel more comfortable sky-diving in a tornado while holding five rattlesnakes than admit that I am "writer." No, I am far more comfortable saying I'm writer in the works.

Writing is a bit tricky in our world today when every goldfish swimming in a fish bowl has their own blog and the definition of "published" is a moving, ever-changing target. The pressure to stand out as creative and strong, authentic and not cliche is more than ever, to me. Just gathering my writing samples, updating my resume and trying to understand what a "media specialist" means is almost enough to make me reconsider. Recently I decided not to approach my writing so formally as a career, but to "find where your gifts and your passions intersect" as my wise mother told me years ago.  I realized that if I have anything to offer the world, if God truly did give me the gift of writing, then I must only write what He finds useful for me to say. Additionally, it may behoove me to reign in my run-on sentence habit. *

My recent decision to begin writing in my own voice has taught me something critical already....  creativity can not be commanded, only inspired. I am grappling with this, since my insights have a tendency to show up unannounced and only when I have a half-melted crayon and a children's bulletin within arm's reach.

Thank you for following me in this dream. I am not sure where it might lead but I hope to make it worth your while.

*Note to self: find some editor friends willing to work pro-bono. Supply plenty of wine so they will be totally honest.